Feloowship in the Local Church - Pretence or Openness?

'Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.' Col.3:12-14.

Our relationships between one another in church is always a live issue and a very practical one.

Before we get to some of the nitty-gritty of the subject we are going to discover the biblical 'atmosphere' in which our church fellowship should take place. Look up the following references and write down the characteristics of this 'atmosphere':

Rom.12:9-21....................................................................................

1 Cor.13:4-7 ....................................................................................

Gal.5:13-15, 22-26; 6:1,2........................................................................................................

Eph.4:31,32; 5:1.2......................................................................................

Phil.2:1-5 ..................................................................................................

Col.3:12-14 ................................................................................................

1 Thess.5:11 ..............................................................................................

Heb.10:24,25..............................................................................................

Well, how do you feel about a community in which these characteristics are found? Would it be threatening? Could you feel at home in it? Could you feel 'yourself' in it, do you think? Can you find that sort of community outside in the world? How would an outsider feel in such a community? The list is awe inspiring isn't it? .......sincere unfailing love, hatred of evil, devotion to one another, honouring one another, zeal, joyful in hope, patience in affliction, faithfulness in prayer, hospitality, empathy, harmony, humility, patience with others, kindness, unselfishness, truth, peaceableness, protectiveness, perseverance, mutual service, gentleness, self-control, goodness, restoration, sharing burdens, compassion, forgiving spirit; lack of anger, malice, hypocrisy, or complaining; like-mindedness, encouragement, mutual building-up, ...WOW!

In such a community, individuals who are in need should be able to experience restoration, reconstruction and redevelopment. God is in the reconstruction business. In such a community, we should feel less need to pretend and a greater readiness to be open.

God is in the reconstruction business!

What is it that each of us has, that is the most important of all? Answer: 'Jesus Christ and the knowledge of eternal life through Him'. And all we believers have this. Beside this thing that we have in common, all the other things that each of us has, pale into insignificance. So there is no room for superiority or inferiority amongst us.

Nor is there room for triumphalism. Nothing destroys mutual confidence and trust so readily as triumphalism. It is destructive. None of us should strike attitudes or say anything that seems to imply that we live on a higher spiritual plane than others. We do not: the fact that we think we do shows that we do not! In his book 'From Triumphalism to Maturity' (a commentary on 2 Cor.10-13) Donald Carson has a chapter entitled 'The ugliness of spiritual one-upmanship.' That seems to put it very well.

No need for inferiority or superiority

We all need esteem, but for the Christian it arises not from our own estimate of ourselves but from God's unconditional love for us. Romans 8 tells us that God is totally for us and at work within us; that nothing will separate us from His love in Christ. There is no need for us to remain damaged. True humility is not a matter of destroying our God-given esteem. A realisation that this is true for each of us in our fellowship should make us ready to be ourselves with each other; to be open with one another. One will not be willing to be vulnerable by admitting to a problem, if others are not prepared to be vulnerable too.

Charles Swindoll in his book 'Improving your Serve' urges that within our fellowships there should be

Transparent humanity ... there is no need to be ashamed of and to hide our human frailties; we are all different in temperament and personality, and in physical strengths and weaknesses.

Genuine humility ... we must actively seek for God's name to be exalted, not our own. We can be non-defensive; we have nothing to prove, nothing to lose.

No need for oneUPmanship

Absolute honesty ... no ulterior motives, no hidden agendas, no manipulation of others; no hypocrisy, no verbal superficiality.

1. Spend 5 minutes listing the things you have in common with other members of your group. How significant are they?

2. On the scale of 1 to 4, mark how well you think you personally are doing with living a Christian life ...

very badly 1 ................. 2 ................... 3 .................. 4 ................. very well

3. On the same scale, mark where you think most other people have put their mark. What is the result of this double exercise and what does it signify?

4. Give each of the proposed reasons in the following statement a mark out of 10 to signify how important it is in your thinking. Write down your answers and then discuss the statement

5. Being honest, do you think we tend to feel less of a Christian who has failings we do not have? Discuss.

6. Do you have standards for other people's sanctification which are not directly warranted from Scripture? Why?

7. If you do not usually have smoking in your house, how would you respond if a heavy-ish smoker wanted to join your home group?

8. How do you cope with someone who is triumphalistic? Have you ever been triumphalistic? About what sort of things?

9. If you have had an experience which has matured you as a Christian, how has it benefited others in your fellowship?

10. Write down four ways in which you could be more encouraging to someone else. Share your ideas.

*Understanding the Bible*
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